Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Wisdom is a Tree
I just finished reading "These is My Words." It is up there in my top 2 favorite books of all time. I couldn't help but document my "ah-ha" spurred by this book.
Sarah, the main character, is a very independant woman who now finds herself married to a husband that leaves frequently for work and overwhelmed with the responsibility that comes along with raising kids. She wonders what might have been if she had chosen to do things differently, to "for-fill", as she sees it, her potential. See the parallel with my life?
"It seems there is always a road with bends and forks to choose, and taking one path means you can never take another one. There's no starting over nor undoing the steps I've taken. It isn't like I'd want to not have my little ones and Jack (her husband) and that ranch, it is part of life to have to support yourself. It's just that I want everything, my insides are not just hungry, but greedy. I want to find out all the things in the world and still have a family and a ranch."
I think that is why I keep vacilating on going back to work or staying home. I want everything. I'm greedy.
A few pages later, she figures out how to make peace with the choices she has made.
"He said wisdom is not a path, it is a tree... It is a tree, and I can stay in one place and spread out in all directions, and I can do more learning shading this brood of mine than if I was all alone. I declare, it is like some other part of me made up some rules about happiness and I just went along with them without thinking. My heart is lightened so much that I am amzed at how sad I felt for so long."