I had a few thoughts this morning on the first day of school. I do have to say, these are hard to write, but I may want to re-read them someday when I am wiser.
1. Yesterday, we ate pizza, relaxed around the house and went the park in hopes of having a nice stress free family day before school begins. The other-side of the story is that Randi tormented the boys and screamed at me almost constantly, the kids wouldn't eat the food I picked out, and a bully started a fist fight with Alex at the park. Cole pooped in his pants and I found Alex in his closet at 9:30pm playing with toys.
2. As hard as I tried to make this 1st day of school morning go well. It didn't. No need to re-live it here.
3. I realized I am happy to have my kids back in school because I need the break, yet I hear other parents talking about how "perfect" their summer was and how they weren't ready to come back. I don't want to be friends with them. Nice, huh?
4. I started questioning why the heck I even try to be a SAHM. If I was working, my kid's wouldn't have memories of me saying (or yelling, depending on the day), "Pick that up." or "Be nice to your sister." or "I heard you the first 5 times you said that." or "Go to time-out!" or "Please, give me a minute!"
5. To top it all off, I feel guilty having stated issues numbered 1-4.
Am I really making the best memories by being at home or am I vilifying myself?
Moms are never the villains. Kids will always remember the good when they grow up no matter what they remember today. Plus they are lucky to have a SAHM!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brekke, your kids are so lucky to have you - everyday they have you! Perhaps you have to be the one to correct them, but at least you love them more than anyone else on earth. And I can't think of another caretaker who would want more for your children than you do. "You are doing a great job Mom!" (Name that movie)
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